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"Crui-sinnnnnn...." one voice crooned, absently driving the other insane. "On a Sunday afternooooon...."
"Alexander, will you *please* stop that incessant song!"
Xander glanced over at Elan and grinned. "Oh come on, Elan. This is a whole new kind of road trip, one without physical limitations.." He stopped and considered that. "Of course, that also means no pit stops. But that's a classic song about cruising around..."
"This is the last place that could be considered safe for idly passing away the time singing songs that make absolutely no sense or are not suitable for the situation," she sternly told him. Xander knew she knew what she was talking about but decided to settle down, at least for now. "I heard that, 'for now!'" she warned him.
"All right, all right." He sighed; sometimes she took these training sessions a little *too* harshly. "So what's on the regimen tonight, Ob-Elan?"
Elan didn't dignify the name with a response. Instead, she stared off into the vast starscape that they considered the Dreaming. "Tonight, we are going to try a new lesson, Alexander. Have you ever heard of the theories of a universal mind?"
Xander's eyebrows furrowed as he considered the question. "Is that just another fancy way of asking if the Big Girl is real?"
Elan sighed and faced him, pale-green hair whirling with the motion. "Alexander, how you ever survived working with a Slayer for so long when you haven't even heard about the basic tenets of the supernatural elements of the universe...."
"You know, Giles always talks like that when he's about to say something way over my head," Xander told her, "when we started out, it was vampires, demons, and the occasional killer android. And despite the experiences I've had over the last five years, I'm not Einstein or from England. So explain it as you would someone not of the magical."
Elan sighed. Sometimes, it just was so trying, having someone so young and irreverent for a wielder. "Very well, Alexander. You may have heard stories or theories of how all minds, at least subconsciously, are connected to each other. Examples include shared dreams, prophetic dreams such as those Buffy has had, or the identical primal psyches shared by some sets of twins."
"Okay, yeah. I guess I have some idea of what you're talking about."
She gave him one of those smiles that hinted she knew something he didn't. "If you knew what I was talking about, I wouldn't have to use the most simplistic versions of the universal mind theory just to get you to know what *subject* I was on."
He glared at her and she just sighed as a teacher would to a pupil determined to drive her insane. "Alexander, there is a reason why you undergo this training. Unlike most rune wielders, you are essentially a normal man, despite your various gifts and the things that have enhanced your abilities over the years. So please understand that I am only doing what I would with any other wielder."
He thought about it and nodded. "Okay, okay. So what's the lesson."
She flashed him a smile and approving nod. "One thing that people proficient in trasversing the Dreaming can do is tap into the minds of their counterparts in other realities or dimensions. They can tap into those minds, while that person is in the Dreaming themselves. From these encounters, they can learn from their counterparts, who most likely have encountered *some* situations that you yourself have not. This will give you added ways to deal with new situations in the real world."
"Okay." Xander thought about the implications while he also considered how it could be a benefit. "But what about the other me's? Wouldn't they be kind of, well, freaked out about meeting myself?"
"They would think it a dream, Alexander." She looked up and gazed at the starscape again. "You could even interact and speak to them. You could get *their* impressions of the events in their lives."
"So basically, it boils down to a way to talk to myself that won't make people think I'm weird," he observed.
She arched an eyebrow and just noted, "There is such a person already?"
"Well... Hey!"
She smirked and said, "Clear your mind, Alexander. Focus on the stars and try to feel for something as you did when we met Neo and Trinity. Focus."
Xander did so and with the skill born of training with Elan and personal experience, cleared his mind of all distractions. His consciousness reached out and sought a similar mind to connect to. He felt as if he brushed the minds of thousands in an instant, yet didn't really connect to any one of them.
Then IT happened.
Not a simple "Hello" as Xander thought of himself trying to accomplish, but rather a scream in the dark. His eyes snapped open as he felt the tingle and tried to solidify the sudden link between his mind and the one who'd instinctively called out when he'd felt it. He turned to Elan.
"Is that what I thought it was?"
"Indeed," she said grimly. Her body shimmered and he saw her suddenly encased in armor of those colors she favored in these "unreality" situations where she could manifest herself. "A call for help."
"Well then, let's go help whoever's calling. Class dismissed?"
"So it would seem," she agreed, not angry but rather ready for action to help whoever was calling them. "Let us go."
She took the lead and he followed, streaking toward one of the stars in the distance but covering the distance in an eyeblink. As they entered what could be considered the corona of a star that made up an alternate reality, Xander shouted that the rescue was coming.
"Here I come to save the daaaaaaay..."
"ALEXANDER!!!"
Xander "felt" them burst through some kind of "bubble," for lack of a better term. He streaked through a thick fog, but unerringly as he could somehow sense that he was headed where he needed to go.
"That is a sign of your increasing skills, Alexander. You have passed into the mind of your counterpart. Now focus on finding him; here, I need your guidance."
"Nice to be in charge for once," he muttered, thankful that Elan didn't comment on his remark. He put his mind to getting to his counterpart for whatever reality he and Elan had entered. Whatever it was like, he figured it couldn't possibly be any weirder than his own.
He cleared the fog and saw a wide expanse of jungle. His first thought was of the Amazon in South America but just as quickly focused on the animalistic screams that were coming from below. He increased his speed and focused on calling Elan to his hand, and he suddenly found himself clad in a dream version of his Yautja battle armor.
As the silver staff appeared in his hands, at least in the Dreaming, he heard Elan's commented, "Very good instincts." He realized she wasn't insulted by him calling "her" in a dream version; he was going with what he knew from his physical body.
He plowed through the dense foilage and somehow avoided hitting any of the trees, his Kine partner following his lead. As he hit the scene, his mind seemed to speed up while his body became nearly motionless, as if he were moving in slow motion. It was the effect of his mind using a total of half his brain capacity to take in every detail of the situation in the merest of instants.
Three animals were fiercely fighting each other, bleeding from several wounds. Two were feline, a black panther with gleaming green eyes and a nasty looking sabertooth tiger. What puzzled Xander was behind the panther; a teenage body lying on the forest floor, bleeding from several bites, being protected by, of all things, a *dog*!
"Okay, why is a border collie protecting my twin?" he asked Elan. Much as he hated to admit it, she usually had all the answers.
"That is your spirit guide, Alexander!" she said irritably. "Surely you have heard the Native American tales. You could learn a great deal from them."
"My spirit guide's a border collie? You gotta be kidding."
"Alexander!" Elan hissed, and he could tell by her tone that she was very irked with him. Your spirit guide depends on your personality. You do not *choose* your guide, it chooses you! So there is a reason for this particular creature. And do not complain; this Xander's guide is protecting him."
He was just wondering why he couldn't get something more, well, macho. But he wasn't going to complain about the panther and tiger helping out by giving the claw and fang smackdown to the hyena that had obviously attacked "him." < Three guesses where *it* came from. >
< I take it this is why you never go to the zoo anymore? > she asked him. He didn't give her an answer, which was answer enough. < The sabertooth is a Guardian Spirit, probably for this version of you. The panther... > He got the image she was reading his aura or something, and "felt" the smile she was giving. < That is someone you intimately knew for one night, Alexander. >
"What?" he blurted before things came back to "real time." He watched as the hyena, barking in anger, lashed out with a bite that gripped the panther's neck. The ink-colored cat howled in pain and Xander felt some sympathy pains. As the hyena took the offensive, the sabertooth and collie took the initiative, launching their own counteroffensives against the scavenger whose spirit had been injected into his mind shortly after meeting Buffy.
The sabertooth grabbed onto the hyena with its front claws and tried to rake it with its rear ones, but the hyena slipped out. The collie nipped at the hyena's heels and distracted it further. With enemies hitting it from three sides, the scavanger didn't know what to do. But it certainly wasn't willing to give up. It decided to go after the weakest of the three enemies, the dog.
< It is *not* the weakest, Alexander! It is the one most intimately tied to you! > Elan screamed. < The more damage to your spirit guide, the more damage to your own soul! >
"Can't have that, can we?" he asked, his eyes taking on a silvery sheen. He brought himself to a half in midair and held the "dream" Elan staff straight out. With a rush of energy, an intense, silvery beam lasered its way toward the fight, as did a blast of lightning from both of Elan's hands.
The intense energy beams struck the hyena broadside and Xander felt himself grimly smiling as one of the boogey-voices in his head was sent to the ground with a yelp. The other animals seemed stunned at this development but they took the time to surround their battered yet still-hostile enemy.
Xander landed and stood in front of his double, while Elan helped his double stagger to his feet. "Okay," the other Xander said, "this is different."
"From what?" he couldn't help but crack. "You live on a Hellmouth, don't you?"
"Good point." His other selt shook his head and his eyes became less disoriented. "Thanks for the help." He glared at the hyena, which was staggering back to its feet. "Now it's my turn."
He started stalking forward and Xander let the staff shimmer with energy, charging up for another blast, should it be needed. The other Xander approached the ring of animals and sarcastically said, "You know, I don't mind you being in my head and all, even though you're a pain in the ass. You've gotten me out of tight jams once or twice, I admit it. But when you decide to get *too* frisky and try to turn me into a midnight snack, that's going *too* far."
Xander felt something happen in his double's dreamscape and suddenly some ghostly bars began forming around the hyena, which howled in protest and tried to run. However, when it hit the intangible bars, it banged off, trapped. Soon enough, a cage was formed around the hyena spirit, prompting it to bark and protest even worse.
While he didn't understand it, his double seemed to. "Do you really think I'm stupid? I'll let you out when I'm good and ready. When you're ready to play nice with others, I'll *think* of letting you out. Now shut up and go back where you belong."
The hyena stopped barking and went quiet. Xander got the image of a sullen, naughty child being made to sit in the corner until Mom or Dad told it to come out. The hyena's cage vanished, taking the animal with it. But that still left three more, including two very large cats with very sharp claws and fangs.
"So, you do this kind of thing often?" he asked as the other Xander petted the collie on the head.
"Hell no." His double looked at him and asked, "Who the Hell are you could this dream possibly get any weirder?" Xander grinned and removed the helmet from his armor. The other Xander arched an eyebrow and said, "Okay, not only do I not do myself as Boba Fett, I don't do the evil twin thing that often either." He stopped when the sabertooth yowled in what sounded suspiciously like laughter. "Okay, okay, I *do* seem to do it once in a while!"
That sounded like a story, but one for another time. "So you okay?" he asked his counterpart, whose dream-shirt was ripped open and soaked with blood.
The other took stock of himself for a minute and seemed to take stock of himself. In the end, he sighed. "Well, there isn't enough damage to hurt me in the real world, or force me to have to go *there* to get some instant healing."
"Where's there?" Xander asked.
"Nirvana," Xander answered.
"Come again?" he asked, wondering what a boy band had to do with instant healing. He heard Elan's sigh and knew what that meant. "Okay, what?"
"What what?" the dreaming Xander asked him, seeming confused.
He caught himself before he continued the "What" string. "Elan? Why don't you introduce yourself?"
Elan bowed to the other Xander and respectfully said, "I have rarely met anyone who could achieve Nirvana at such a young age, Alexander Harris. It is good to meet someone so focused on his training." She eyed *him* and added, "It gives me hope for *my* student."
< Oh, thank you so much for the slam, > he groaned.
The other Xander smiled winningly and said, "Thanks. I have some skills I'm working at."
Xander cocked an eyebrow and tried focusing his other sight on this Xander, trying to get a feel for what he was capable of. He blinked when he "saw" a virtual cornucopia of strange magics inside his double and brought his vision back to the "real" world. He asked, "So, what's this Nirvana thing you've done that makes her so nice and respectful?"
He was aware of her glare and the other Xander shrugged. "Ah, you know the story. Go on a road trip, get hunted by Immortal headhunters working for the bad guys, get his Quickening, and end up jumping into Nirvana to heal your soul."
< Ooooookay.... > That really didn't make sense to him. He decided to make introductions as best he could. "Well, anyway. You know who I am, so we can skip that. But this is..."
Elan interrupted by giving his twin a formal Kine salute and giving her own intro. "Elanthielle of Atlantis."
"Oh, another Atlantean. Okay, that's no big deal." Xander felt Elan stiffen at the mention of someone from Atlantis being no big deal. Secretly, he liked her getting taken down a peg. His dreaming double turned to the animals and said, "Okay, don't be shy. Say hi, guys."
Xander and Elan watched as the two cats began shimmering like she had when changing back. The sabertooth tiger became a cute little Calico while the panther... "Whoa." It turned into a hard ass looking guy in an Army camo suit. But it was the headwear that caught his attention; a Green Beret.
"Wait a minute. One of your spirit guides turns into a Green Beret?" Xander asked the smiling double. < Yep, he's enjoying this. >
< Of course he is, > Elan sighed. < He is YOU. >
Xander rolled his eyes and the Calico yowled with laughter. He said, "So who are your buds?"
The other Xander reached down as the cat sprang into his arms. "This is Patches. He's my Guardian Spirit and basically a four-legged version of me. Meaning he has my sense of humor and eats just as much as I do."
// I do NOT! // an offended voice sounded in Xander's head. He found himself liking the cat.
"I'm Falcon," said the Beret, who held out his hand to Xander. Xander wondered if it was safe but Elan's silent scolding prompted him to take the hand. "Xander Harris."
"I know."
Elan and Falcon exchanged a handshake and Xander said, "So what happened here? The last thing I expected was to show up in the middle of a Stupid Pet Trick on steroids."
Xander rolled his eyes at the comparison. "Ah, this stupid hyena got uppity again. He thinks I'm ignoring him and not letting him, well, 'out to play' often enough. So he decided to make his displeasure known." He looked off into space a bit and shook his head. "It's not like there's *that* many situations I can let him out and have his way with things."
"Hmmm. There's been times when I let him out because he was the only thing that could help me find a nasty," Xander countered. It had helped him when he'd tangled with the Yautja for the first time. "Then again, there's such a thing as relying on instincts too much."
< At least you learned something from that, > Elan said quietly. He shot back, < Not now! >
"Maybe. But usually I can keep him on a tight leash. He really tried to do a number on me tonight." He smiled back at him. "Can't believe I dreamed up me to come bail myself out, though."
Xander was about to speak when he saw Falcon minutely shake his head and got a silent mental warning both from Elan and Patches. < He thinks this is all a dream. > "Yeah, well..." He shot a look at Elan. "Glad to be of help."
"Thanks," the other chuckled. "But I'm surprised I thought *her* up. If I was going to have a sexy, armored woman come to my rescue, I figured I'd dream up Cordy or maybe Buffy."
Xander's eyes blinked automatically. "You're still dating Cordy?"
The double Xander's eyes narrowed for a second and he was worried that he'd blown his "cover." But instead, he just shook his head and quipped, "Okay, questioning myself about my girlfriend? I'll bite. Who else would *you* sleep with?"
Xander wasn't going to answer *that* question, partly because he didn't want this Xander knowing about *his* love life, which was as weird as the rest of his life. Suddenly, he heard moans and giggles coming from somewhere and turned to look at what was making those noises. Everyone else turned around and took in the scene, staring for what seemed like an eternity before turning back to stare at him.
He felt like shriveling up and dying, but the Fates wouldn't grant his wish. < Oh God, if this ever gets out... >
He continued staring at the image of himself in his bed at home, said bed also being occupied by a naked and sweaty Buffy, Faith, and Phoebe, who were all doing their best to get "Xander's" attention.
His double suddenly started banging the side of his head with the flat of his hands, trying either to shake the image or shake himself from dreaming up something like this. "Oh God. Oh God. I hope Cordy never finds out about this...."
"Don't worry about it," Xander said, trying desperately to banish the image. It did, but not before Buffy and Faith both let out very loud, very satisfied groans of pleasure. < Jesus Christ, I just hope I don't... >
He felt something in his head switch off and he looked at Elan, who glared at him. < When you can actually *control* your talents, the Dreaming and our own reality will be a much safer place! >
"Look, I'm sorry. But..."
"No, no, no, no, I do *not* want to hear it!" Xander groaned out loud. It s eemed his cat was enjoying himself far too much because he then glared and shouted, "I will NOT give you stuff to keep quiet! And don't you DARE tell Arial!!!"
"Xander," the Beret said quietly, nodding his head in his and Elan's direction, "we have 'guests,' remember?"
Looking very sick to his dreamself's stomach, the other Harris uneasily said, "I hope this never gets out. I'll never hear the end of it."
< I wish I were that lucky, > Xander thought to himself. "So I take it you never slept with any of them."
"Are you kidding? Me sleep with FAITH?!?" The other Xander looked really sick. "Dude, that sounds like something you'd only see on television!"
"What? She didn't come back from the Dark Side here?" Xander felt a mental "slap" from Elan for the verbal slip. "She's still evil?"
"Evil? What the Hell are you talking about? Don't you know anything about yourself... okay, this is getting too weird." He looked at Elan and asked, "So what's your story, Elanthielle?"
The other Xander didn't seem to get the reason they were staring at him until he shrugged and asked, "What?"
"You said Elanthielle. You said her full name."
"Yeah, so?"
Elan smiled happily and said, "I *told* you it is not that hard to remember, Alexander. So from now on, I would appreciate it if you did *not* call me Elan."
"You're kidding, right? Dude, with the names of some of the people I know, Elanthielle's an easy one."
"Thanks, now I'm never going to live this down," Xander sighed. He glanced at Falcon and asked, "So what's your story? What are you doing running around... my head?"
Falcon's eyes were glimmering with amusement at how he had to pretend he was just a figment of Xander's imagination. "It's simple. Think about a bargain bin, toy machine gun, Ethan Rayne..."
Xander froze and realized where *this* guy came from. "Wait a minute. You mean..."
"Soldier Boy," Falcon confirmed with a smile.
Elan said, "Too bad he does not fill the uniform out as well as you do."
< Gee thanks! > Xander wondered why he only got the memories he had to access while *this* Xander got a full-on Black Ops version of Obi-Wan's ghost after Vader cut him in two with the lightsaber. "So you've still got Military Guy running around your skull?"
"He has his uses," Xander replied evilly, getting a sour glance from Falcon. "Besides, he's helped me out of a jam more than once, just like this little guy."
With that, Xander rubbed the border collie's head and the dog vanished from sight, presumably to wherever he went when he wasn't protecting this Xander. He seemed to stare a bit into space again before saying, "I still wonder how he and Patches get along so well."
< I'm wondering how I can have such a zoo inside my head... > Xander thought to himself. He quickly shouted at Elan, < Don't even go there! >
< Who, moi? >
Xander sighed and while he regretted having to go back to his own reality, he decided that it was time to go. "Dude, you sure you're going to be okay?"
"I think so." That Xander's eyes furrowed a bit and he muttered, "Whiny bastard."
Xander knew he meant the hyena. "Well then, we're off. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"Sure thing." He cracked a wise ass smile. "Drop by again if you're ever in the neighborhood."
Xander looked at Elan, who just shared a private smile. "You got it."
Xander woke up and looked at the sleeping form next to him. She looked so peaceful like this, which of course was hardly her regular personality. He laid back and closed his eyes. < Elan? >
< Yes, Alexander? > she said in a tired voice.
< Hey, use my name the way I want, I'll *think* about using yours the way you want! > He chuckled. < What did you think? >
Elan's silence was momentary. < This Alexander has lived a different path than you, but he is as strong in his own way. Do not ruminate on the differences between realities, Alexander. To do so, to ask 'What if,' only leads to regrets and sadness. >
He thought about her tone of voice and gently asked, < Personal experience, pal? >
< Yes. > She shrugged it off and continued. < But this Xander has the same core of strength that you yourself have. The paths you travel are the same, they simply take a different route. >
< I guess so. > He was still weirded out by the fact that his double was still with Cordelia. < Oh well. Who am I to talk about how he lives his life or who he dates? >
< After what you showed him because of your lack of control, that statement is *so* understated as to defy human description. >
Xander moaned at that memory. < Thank God he'll only think it's a dream. > He thought about something else. < Elan, got a question for you. >
< Yes? >
< I know, *now*, what some of the stuff I 'read' from that other me was. The hyena, the soldier, the stuff I have inside myself. And the collie and that cat of his. But what was the big thing in him? I couldn't recognize it. Have you seen it before? >
Elan was less than happy, he could tell. < That Alexander has a fairy empowerment. >
< A what? >
< A gift from a fairy, which gives him an increase in his physical abilities. Strength, speed, endurance. It also will allow him to learn the fighting arts at a quicker pace. >
< Wait a minute. You mean while I'm working my butt off with you, *that* Xander has it made with... >
Elan's voice shrieked into his mind. < Alexander, you are NOT GOING TO GO BACK THERE! >
< Why NOT? >
< Because I do NOT want to have you meeting Goodfellow! >
Xander sat up, wondering what the Hell *that* answer meant. Faith stirred next to him in bed. < Okay. Now you've got me confused. What do the Goodfellows have to do with fairies? >
By the way she spoke, Xander imagined Elan's teeth were gritted together. < Robin Goodfellow, a servant of the Lord Oberon, is the fairy who created the ritual which gave your counterpart his enhanced abilities. That is all I wish to say on the matter. >
< Wait a minute! > he said, not letting this go. < You're telling me that this other me got some kind of steroid magic from PUCK? >
< He is NOT Puck. How Shakespeare in *any* reality could get those two mixed up... >
< Elan, you're not making any sense. You're talking like Robin Goodfellow is real. He's a fictional character! >
Elan snottily retorted, < He seemed real enough thirteen thousand years ago when we courted... > She suddenly stopped and Xander realized she'd let something slip she'd rather not have. < Forget I ever said that! >
A smile curved on his lips. This was something he'd wanted a long time; blackmail material on his Kine partner. < Elan... >
< Alexander, I am NOT going to talk about thisl >
< Elan, if you don't want me to spread it to *everyone* that you, Miss High and Mighty Rune Weapon, slept with a fairy.... >
< ALEXANDER!!! >
Xander woke up and looked at the sleeping form next to him. She looked so peaceful like this, which of course was hardly her regular personality. He laid back and closed his eyes. < Cordy, > he thought with love. He then thought out loud, < Patches? >
// Yes? // his furry friend asked.
< Can you believe the dream I just had? > he asked, wondering why he was so aware of the details of this dream.
Patches just snickered and Xander shot a glare at the cat on the foot of his bed. "What's so funny?"
// Oh nothing. //
Xander knew his cat had something he found extremely funny, but just shoved it aside. He made himself a solemn promise regarding the weird dream he'd just had.
"I can't believe this. Me as a alien big game hunter carrying a magic staff, with a girl with green hair for a sidekick? That does it." He rubbed his stomach and swore to God, "No more extra anchovies on the pizza before bed. I don't need dream selves like that bailing me out when they make me imagine sleeping with two Slayers and a witch."
Patches started howling, as did Arial.
"What?" he snapped, wondering what was making them laugh at him.
Their laughter increased and he got really ticked about it.
"WHAT?!?"
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