Whose line is it Anyway?

Author: Kyle Bernard <csktech[at]yahoo.com>

Date: 08 May 2004

Xander find himself in the strangest situation.

The small studio filled with laughter and applause as the host introduced the show.

"Welcome to whose line is it any way." The applause got louder, "Starring the man who would be king, Xander Harris. The dark haired Kine commander found himself sitting on a stage with four other people, before he could say anything to the girl sitting next to him the host continued. "And a girl is so cute that Colgate turned her down because no one would believe that she needed to brush her teeth, Dawn Summers." Once again Xander tried to say something but got interrupted, "and the Hostess with the mostest, Elanthielle…" Xander eyes bugged out when he found Elan sitting a few chairs down decked out in the bikini mail she preferred for light combat. "And one of our favorite time travelers… Frank Parker…"

"And me, I'm you host Drew Cary, lets have some fun." The host ran down the stairs and sat down at a desk that was off to the left of the four contestants. "Welcome to Whose line is it anyway, the game show where the points don't matter… That's right, the points don't matter. In fact they are just like a Goa'uld's sense of fair play."

The audience roared in laughter as if they knew who or what the Goa'uld were.

Ok Lets get this started with a game we call party time. "This is for all of you. Frank, you are the host at the party and Xander, Elan and Dawn are guests. The object of the game is for Frank to guess who his guests are. Earlier we gave each one of them a card with a character on it.

Dawn read her card; you are desperate first time actress who'll do anything to be cast as the lead and you've been invited to a party where everyone else is a producer or director currently casting a big screen production of Romeo and Juliet.

The doorbell rang; Frank walked over and opened the imaginary door. "Oh Hey Dawn, wanna come in? He offered Dawn a hand shake.

Dawn looks at his hand, she smiled coyly. Her eyes lit up as she spoke. There's nothing wrong with your hand, and handholding while we dance is quite legitimate; but you're being a little too bold in wanting to kiss me. If you're really a pilgrim, you should greet me only with your hand, as 'palmers' do."

"Huh... Well ok…"

Dawn ran to the center of the room and in a dramatic flair she tossed her head back, "Romeo… Romeo…. Where for art thou Romeo."

"Huh," Frank repeated as he felt confused and out of place. Luckily he was saved by the door bell.

Xander stood in the door way. In his hand read the card that described his character, "You are a man cursed with X-ray vision.

Frank opened up the invisible door, "Hey Xander, welcome to my party come on in and have a beer."

Xander took an exaggerated look downward, "Wow Frank looking good there my man."

"Yea well what can I say."

Dawn was standing in the corner, when she spied Xander entering she headed for the middle of the small room and began another passage from Romeo and Juliet,"No, madam; we have cull'd such necessaries As are behoveful for our state to-morrow: So please you, let me now be left alone, And let the nurse this night sit up with you; For, I am sure, you have your hands full all, In this so sudden business."

"What the hell is with her," asked Frank…

"I don't know… Xander replied all the while feeling ashamed of him self looking at dawn with his newly found X-Ray vision. But I know her mom told her told her she couldn't get her ears pierced. I guess teenaged rebellion is still going strong." He let out a long wolf whistle… "Buffy better watch out, she isn't the only hot Summers."

Hearing Xander's voice, Dawn rushed over to him, "Fair sir I beseech thee, I am but young but knowest that given fair chance I should acquit my self honorably if only given a chance, so I say again, intercede on my behalf and the fruits of heaven you shall know, fail and like a poison in my blood I shall surely die."

Dawn turned to the audience, "Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again. I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins that almost freezes up the heat of life: I'll call them back again to comfort me: Nurse! What should she do here? My dismal scene I needs must act alone. Come, vial. What if these mixtures do not work at all? Shall I be married then to-morrow morning? No, no: this shall forbid it: lie thou there."

Frank stalked over to the downed girl and offered her a hand, "Ok Juliet, you can get up now…"

A buzzing sound was heard in the back ground. Close enough, said Drew. She an actress that wants to play Juliet/"

Meanwhile Xander wandered around the imagery room t. He headed over towards the hosts desk. He looked at Drew and frowned, "Dude you need to change your underwear more often." The crowd's laughter filled the studio and even Drew cracked up laughing.

The doorbell rang again and Elan entered the room.

"Wow," Xander shouted from across the stage his face a shocking pink color, "Elan, I didn't know you were a natural, umm Sea foam green…"

A light bulb went on over Frank's head, "Get out of here you guy with see through vision…"

Frank looked at Elan and than back to Drew, Elan, and then Drew… "No way man, she will kick my ass." He walked back to his seat and planted his still un-kicked ass down…

"Chicken…. We'll be right back…"

"Welcome back to 'Whose line is it anyway.' I'm you host Drew Cary… Drew lifted a card, this one is for Xander. We call it songs from the heart. For this one we will need a volunteer from the audience." Drew stood up and headed over the center of the stands. He picked a pretty young woman wearing a bright red dress and lipstick that matched, and escorted he to a bar stool that had been placed in the middle of the stage. "Well young lady what is your name?"


"What do you do for a living Glory?"

"Mostly I shop and try and have a good time."

"Well it's nice to have you here." Drew smiled and turned back to the audience. "Xander, you are man that is deeply in love but you're having a hard time expressing it. So you and Glory are having a quite evening at home and you're going to tell her how you feel, however you can only express your feelings in song."

Xander thought about it for a few seconds and began to sing, off key.

"The devil went down to Georgia; she was looking for a soul to steal." She was in a bind, she was way behind, she was willing to make a deal."

Glory looked at Xander and just glared at him.

"Ok…. Sorry, let's try something else, he answered.

"Evil…. Nothing more than Evil….. Trying to forget my feelings of Rage…"

"Evil… Whoa. Whoa… whoa… Evil."

Xander shot out of bed, sweating. "Holy shit, he swore. "What a freaking dream.. I gotta quit eating jalapeños just before bed."

<Indeed Alexander… and next time…" A humorous tone entered her tone… and she sang, "Don't gimme no lines and keep your eyes to yourself…">



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